Pages

7.12.2006

Remember This and That

I've been having those reminiscing kind of days lately. I purposfully didn't get on the computer since Sunday. Last night I decided that three days is enough. Sometimes I feel like I spend so much time online that I start to feel guilty for slacking. So there has been alot of time with the kids and the normal household "get organized" kind of stuff. It helps that it is raining right now...it adds to the introspective nature.

This Week a series of quick events happened that made me get all nostalgic and thinking about priorities all of a sudden...Dropped of my daughter at "craft" camp at JoAnn's and while walking through the store on the way out I pass dozens of their clearance items..drooling...{why this is significant, I'll get there} I'm reminded that I have been spending alot on craft/scrapbooking lately and not spending money on what I used to spend money on...clothes, myself, pretty items for the house, now its all about the kids and their activities, their wants, needs. I folded on the winnie the pooh craft kit and pokemon rare cards yesterday. Now, I try to make myself feel okay about this by remembering that they have a "chore chart" that tracks their good behaviors and so they get points/stickers to earn little things throughout the year. 'Cept as they get older the things they want are getting pricier. So we still mix in "go for icecream" or go to a friends house {or have friends over} and less pricier items like {my fav} "a trip to the dollar store" {squeal}. So I work that logic out in my head and buy the kid stuff. Ignoring that big 60% clearance sale sign above "home decorating" and "garden". Such pretty stuff. So I'm reminding myself of what mom used to say {good ole advice for us spenders} SAVE ; save for what you want, then get it. Stop buying the stuff you already have.......their lessons came from hard times, depression, war, losing parents at a young age. If only I had inherited the "save, save, save" part of the DNA? sigh.

I also yak it up with the instructor, come to find out teaching kids about crafts is just a side hobby she's really a medical secretary, and just loves doing this stuff with her own grandkids so now she teaches at JoAnns. I could do that. I mean I'd love to do that. So I start thinking again about going back to work and making it meaningful and doing what I love to do.

Past experiences, both good and bad, will remind me of what I like to do and what I don't. People I like to work with and people that I don't. People that shouldn't be allowed to manage and those who will forever support and inspire you. I keep it in the far-back of the brain, and head off to finish errands while daughter is at camp. Take the boys into Wal-Mart and get our stuff that we needed {school supplies} Squeal at the joy of finding the Good CRAYOLA markers for .88 cents!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and try to keep the rest of the trip focused on what we need.

On my way to tell my son only one pack of pokemon cards for today and SHE comes into my fleld of vision. Eyes make contact.
No. Not. Eye. Contact.
I have to say "hi" now.

She being a person I used to work with, then manage, and have since utterly tried to forget.
It was a very short conversation {I couldn't tell if she just didn't want to talk or if I put her off in some way} Once my initital "oh god" had passed I did chat it up a little. "Reserved" is my new demeanor, sometimes the less I say the better. She sees me with the baby and looks surprised I say "yup, I had another one." She seems uncomfortable, I am trying to hold a figety two-year old who is sooo done with the shopping cart and just wants to get down. Who also saw chips in one of the lanes and is now yelling "Mommmie, chips, Mommie Chips". This is going on while I am trying to look pulled together and with it for former co-worker {but of course I am all disheveled and grungy looking instead, sigh, why does this always happen?}

Then it gets said....."I was just talking to so and so and we were talking about you, and wishing you would come back, wondering if you ever would?"......I try not to fall to the ground. Try to keep my jaw from dropping. Is she freakin' kidding???? She's gotta be. Just being nice.

I simply say "really? well I bet I will have to hunt for a job sooner or later with the three kids"....I laugh...she laughs. "well I gotta go" we both say....pleasantries said, kind parting words trailing off in the middle of Wal-Mart. I have to hide behind lane number 13 and a stack of pokemon cards to shudder and shrug it off.

SO I'm flattered if it was sincere. Cause I thought I burned all my bridges there so to speak. But can't get the other trailing thought out of my head that she was just being nice. ????

Or, is it a sign. for going back to work {gotta do what I love this time though, that's that, that I know for sure}


No comments: